What is love?!

I’ve been thinking recently about love. I’ve been thinking about how ‘God is love’. It’s a hard concept to get your head around; for us it’s a human emotion, something we do or something we feel. But the idea that God’s whole identity is love… it’s just bazaar.

When we try to get our head around it we realise the implication of this is absolutely, life-critically immense. In 1 John 4 it says, ‘God is love, if you don’t know love then you don’t know God’. That’s a big statement. Without daily living out a life centred on love we don’t know God’s real character; we can’t claim to have an intimate relationship with him. Faith alone is not enough.

I’ve often listened to the verse ‘these three remain: faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love’. I’ve quoted it, stuck it up on ‘post-it-notes’ around the house. But the focus of my attention was askew. ‘Faith, hope and love’- that sounds great together doesn’t it? It sounds idyllic. The thing is, these three concepts in equal measure aren’t what God has in mind; it’s not the winning ratio. ‘The greatest of these is love’.

He wants us to have faith in him, to trust in him, to hope for goodness and truth but much more than that - he wants us to be completely and utterly in love with him as he is with us. He wants us to know that since we were created out of his love for us, we can only live in full abundance if we’re living in an intimate, loving relationship with him. Since God is love then it is obvious that when he asks us to do something it is in our best interests. In loving him we are made new. Do you know how it feels to be ‘in love’? If not then think about all the greatest love poetry. God desires for us to feel that ecstatic bliss, that head-over-heels euphoria.

But more. Not just loving our perfect, all loving father, but people. And not just your best friend or your partner that adores you. Jesus calls us to love our enemies. Not even to just ‘bear with’ or ‘put up with’ our enemies, but actually to LOVE them. To take away the hate, pain and bitterness in our hearts towards those we find really difficult and replace it with kindness, generosity, selflessness and utter love towards that person.

Of course, this is hard, near impossible for us. We’re animals and our reactions are that of self-defence, self-preservation. It requires a rewiring of thinking. Corinthians 1:13 lists the qualities of real love. Love is self-sacrificing… without judgement… patient…kind. Wouldn’t it be amazing to be loved like that? To love someone like Jesus calls us to, we have to be without judgement. God ‘causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good’ and we’re asked to do the same. Living a life of love means seeing people as Jesus sees them. As their creator sees them, who loves them completely as they are, regardless of what they do or say. As their father who looks down on them and says, ‘you are altogether beautiful my darling, there is no flaw in you’ does.

Now this command is not without point or meaning. It is not insignificant, inconsequential or feeble. Its result is colossal. It’s not the greatest command for nothing. The power in loving others is it brings complete healing -to us and to those we are extending love to. When you see this in practice it is immensely powerful. Real love in action is not some kind of wishy-washy, romantic mush. It’s overwhelming and utterly life-transforming. It makes sense really. If God is love, then a life centred on love is going to be full of intense, life-changing, freedom-giving fire. The effect of this is to repair, to restore. When our hearts are full of love, all the bitterness, hate, hurt and judgemental scorn that were once filling them will be cast-out. Redemption. Similarly on extending love to others we watch them heal. When Jesus calls hate-filled Zacchaeus down from the tree, offering him a hand of love, he is utterly transformed; redeemed; restored. When Jesus spots Matthew the money grabbing and selfish Tax Collector, giving him a place as one of his right-hand men, he repents – right there and then, leaving behind his greedy ways for a life lived in love.

Love believes and love hopes. Love transforms and love heals. I have learnt any desperation I have for control, love is messy and unpredictable. Love is an outstretched arm that doesn’t know what it will end up grasping at the other end. Love is happening upon a muddled, worn-out, confused, disordered human being, covered in dirt and yet only seeing the spotless beauty with which they were created. It is switching off any desire to scorn, judge or walk away from that person and instead hearing the resounding of the Father’s voice echoing in every pore of their being. It says, ‘You are My Child, with whom I am well pleased’.

Don't conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Sometimes I struggle being self-employed. Most people I know are busy doing 9-5 jobs or studying. I am the co-founder of a small art organisation that is slowly finding its feet. Honestly a lot of people think my partner and I are just ‘dossing around’ despite the fact we work more than we would on a full-time job. And we can’t just leave work behind and go home. Our home is our office and studio.

The fact is what I'm really struggling with is the opinion of others, of ‘fitting in’. Recently somebody I know asked “so what do you do between exhibitions and stuff? Like what do you do in the day?” As if exhibitions and projects are just rolled out on the day; the planning, networking, advertising, creation of artworks, fundraising etc. completed in a few hours. I could feel my pride creeping its way in. Like what?!

Whilst I'm feeling all frustrated and unrecognised I remember Jesus’ lifetime on earth – when was he ever not misunderstood, rejected for not fitting-in. Even in his home town of Nazareth he was thrown out and his work unrecognised. He warned us that we would suffer the same, ‘the reason the world doesn't know you is because it didn't know me’. If Jesus suffered the ultimate rejection of death by his own people, I'm sure I can withstand a few people misunderstanding or even scorning at my lifestyle. Especially with all the wonderful support I also receive from those who genuinely believe in us.

When I'm feeling all hard-done-by I also remind myself of the reason we’re doing this. We’re living out God’s calling for our lives. He’s given us the ability to show love, encouragement and positivity to others. Where does pride even come into that? How can I worry about judgement on myself? That’s so irrelevant that I really have no right to feel downtrodden. Really, genuinely, every success we or Eden Art have had, has come entirely from Jesus. Everything is owed to him. And to be honest, without him I would be in a mess. And even if that mess would be being absolutely miserable with multiple degrees and a six-figure salary, I would still be an absolute failure without him.

I love doing what I do. I love that when my alarm goes in the morning I can get straight into sketching or blogging or designing. I love that I can take a break and go for a run. But I also love that my sister’s finding her feet at University, that my mum’s filled with joy from the fully-accredited Counselling Courses she’s doing whilst I’m doing my holistic, alternative therapy ones. I love how my sister-in-law is in a high-profile office job that she’s amazing at, I love how she is so fulfilled in what she does, that she brings joy to everyone around her.

Whatever you’re doing – be it bringing up a family or working hard in an office or studying for that PhD or writing poems in your dingy flat living off cup-a-soups or just taking things one day at a time… make sure you’re doing what you love doing, not what you think the world wants you to.

‘May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears’ – Nelson Mandela.