Overcoming Fear 4: Interview with Katherine Mitchell

Q1: What effects has fear had on your life and how have you worked to overcome these?

 A: I think different forms of fear and self-doubt has always been present in my life, as it is in everyone’s. But only in the past few years had it completely taken over my life and drained me of everything I used to be. I’d like to say I had a surge of inner strength that lead me to fight those fears, but I didn’t; they were too strong, too all-consuming and too real. But I had so much support from family and friends, which was what forced me to confront my fears, and ultimately what carried me through.  

I was trapped in a place of fearing whatever would come next in my life, and being so lost I think actually helped me to fight fears. I had nothing left to lose; nowhere to go but up.
As I fought the fears moment-by-moment I gained strength and more and more of myself back. By facing up to fears and getting through, it made them easier to deal with the next time. Knowing that I’d been there before and got through, and that I’d get through again, I gained inner strength that kept growing; pushing out the fears until they no longer had a hold over me.

Q2: How do you view the concept of fear?

A: To me, fear is something deceptive- it being invisible but so overpoweringly real. That being said, when I think of fear, I tend to only think of irrational fears, because that is what has been predominant in my life so far; irrational, rather than rational fear.

I tend to view this irrational fear as something that’s held me back on so many levels. Fear creeps in following self-doubt and perpetuates itself until the cycle is broken.  I think it’s easy for people to see strength in others but we rarely see it in ourselves. It takes continually battling fear to gain the strength and self-belief to stop listening to fear. And it still holds me back a lot more than it should, and its easy to write about it now as an abstract concept, but harder to believe in that moment when it seems an integral part of who I am. For me its important to keep reminding myself of how many fears I have overcome; how real they felt, and how weightless they were in reality. This helps me a lot when difficulties come up that seem insurmountable. I remember everything in the past that seemed so impossible, but in reality, wasn’t. Battling your own demons and winning does make you feel pretty badass. It still doesn’t make it easy in the moment though, but I’m working on it.

Q3: You've achieved a lot in terms of overcoming fears in your own life, have you found this has enabled you to help others struggling with anxiety?

 A: My life is filled with really incredible people, many of which I met during the hardest and darkest parts of my life so far. I’m so thankful for everything that has happened, because it has made me a better person, and I have come to know some of the bravest and most inspiring people, and have been witness to their journeys.
Whilst it has always been important to me to have an emotionally supportive relationship with important people in my life, I had always been held back by fear, and not feeling confident or worthy enough to be completely open to those I love the most. To be able to say ‘this is me, this is how I feel’ always seemed impossible. A fear of acceptance maybe, or a fear of weakness, either way it had a really detrimental effect on my well-being as well as my relationships.
But, by being vulnerable and emotionally exposed around people, and then building such a strong relationship on the grounds of shared experiences, I came to realise that it’s okay to be defenceless; that there really is no other way to be, that it’s actually the only way to gain strength.

Now, by being able to say, “This is me, these are my insecurities and fears. And I trust you with these. I’m human and I’m flawed and that’s okay”, I have found it encourages others to be open with me, and this trust breaks the feelings of isolation that validate the fear. It gives me humility and strength, and (I hope) it gives others a place to come to for non-judgemental support when they need it most. I’ve been really blessed with the help I’ve had from people in my life, and to be someone who people can turn to in need, is I think, one of the most important things you can be.