Don't conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Sometimes I struggle being self-employed. Most people I know are busy doing 9-5 jobs or studying. I am the co-founder of a small art organisation that is slowly finding its feet. Honestly a lot of people think my partner and I are just ‘dossing around’ despite the fact we work more than we would on a full-time job. And we can’t just leave work behind and go home. Our home is our office and studio.

The fact is what I'm really struggling with is the opinion of others, of ‘fitting in’. Recently somebody I know asked “so what do you do between exhibitions and stuff? Like what do you do in the day?” As if exhibitions and projects are just rolled out on the day; the planning, networking, advertising, creation of artworks, fundraising etc. completed in a few hours. I could feel my pride creeping its way in. Like what?!

Whilst I'm feeling all frustrated and unrecognised I remember Jesus’ lifetime on earth – when was he ever not misunderstood, rejected for not fitting-in. Even in his home town of Nazareth he was thrown out and his work unrecognised. He warned us that we would suffer the same, ‘the reason the world doesn't know you is because it didn't know me’. If Jesus suffered the ultimate rejection of death by his own people, I'm sure I can withstand a few people misunderstanding or even scorning at my lifestyle. Especially with all the wonderful support I also receive from those who genuinely believe in us.

When I'm feeling all hard-done-by I also remind myself of the reason we’re doing this. We’re living out God’s calling for our lives. He’s given us the ability to show love, encouragement and positivity to others. Where does pride even come into that? How can I worry about judgement on myself? That’s so irrelevant that I really have no right to feel downtrodden. Really, genuinely, every success we or Eden Art have had, has come entirely from Jesus. Everything is owed to him. And to be honest, without him I would be in a mess. And even if that mess would be being absolutely miserable with multiple degrees and a six-figure salary, I would still be an absolute failure without him.

I love doing what I do. I love that when my alarm goes in the morning I can get straight into sketching or blogging or designing. I love that I can take a break and go for a run. But I also love that my sister’s finding her feet at University, that my mum’s filled with joy from the fully-accredited Counselling Courses she’s doing whilst I’m doing my holistic, alternative therapy ones. I love how my sister-in-law is in a high-profile office job that she’s amazing at, I love how she is so fulfilled in what she does, that she brings joy to everyone around her.

Whatever you’re doing – be it bringing up a family or working hard in an office or studying for that PhD or writing poems in your dingy flat living off cup-a-soups or just taking things one day at a time… make sure you’re doing what you love doing, not what you think the world wants you to.

‘May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears’ – Nelson Mandela.