New Year... New Me?!

I LOVE New Year. Really, I adore it. Okay, I’m slightly obsessed with it. I’m one of those people who always make loads of New Year’s resolutions. Eden Art was born of Georgie and my last New Year’s resolution after all.

I don’t just make New Year’s resolutions, I start a new diary (which admittedly trails off around March), and I plan things. It is the one time of year I allow myself; a messy, spur-of-the-moment artist, to possess some level of organisation. I list things I propose to start, accomplishments I want to achieve, ways I want to change. If only a handful of these things become a reality, I really don’t care; it is just. so. therapeutic. Don’t judge me cynics!

So this New Year, we’d made the journey back down South to the excitement of London for the big night. But as time ebbed towards midnight I realised I had made no pledges, no resolves for the coming year. I racked my brain as we counted down the last of 2014, but nothing came.

As we journeyed back up North, I told myself ideas would come to me as I arrived back home. That I’d unpack and my fresh start would magically appear. Yet I just couldn't feel it.

So we approached the 7^th and I decided to sit down and work this out. I was getting pretty desperate now; as any New Year fanatic will tell you a week into January is embarrassingly late to be resolution-less. And then I realised I’d forgotten that crucial thing. I’d been trying to work this out myself, despite knowing that alone I could never provide myself with positive direction for my life. So I sat and meditated, contemplating Jesus and how he has taken me on a miraculous journey these past few years. What do you want from me this year? What do I need to do?

The answer couldn’t be clearer. Just follow my lead. And suddenly I was 100% prepared for 2015.

I am lucky enough to have glimpsed the truth that’s allowed me to walk alongside my creator. And so I am able to relinquish any control and with it any anxiety about doing enough/the right thing during the year ahead. In the past four years that I’ve known Jesus, I’ve most probably been less ‘productive’ by the world’s standards, but have found myself a thousand times more fulfilled. I’ve developed deeper and more meaningful relationships with people and as cliché as it sounds; I’ve grown immensely. Despite facing more trials, I’ve experienced the kind of deep joy that’s worth more than any temporary happiness. I guess it makes utter sense that of course I should make it my ‘new year’s resolution’ to stop trying to plan things myself, but to just follow His lead.

So as I sat in my newfound peace, I was led to my first aim for the new year: be open. It’s so easy for me to hide behind Eden Art, but there’s great value in being open and honest as an individual. I find that really, really difficult, but so are a lot of worthwhile things in life.

From the Hope In Zion blog this year, you can expect honesty and openness. Truths about emotional wellbeing and mental health, faith and the fight for equal rights. All these things affect me. I’m sharing them in the hope they might help you too.

Becky.